It’s that sneaky, somewhat subtle or even unnoticeable feeling that can easily be ignored, yet gone unchecked it can ruin relationships, and at the very least fuel frustration for those on the receiving end. Ladies, it’s our curse from the very creation of the human race. Control.
Where does control come out in you? In the details of social plans? In household duties? In outward appearances of yourself and your family? On vacations? In choosing restaurants? Doing laundry? As a passenger in a car? Nearly every moment of the day? That was a simple list for me to make, because I’ve consistently controlled in all those areas. Just ask my husband 🙂
We struggle with control because it was put upon us as God’s curse to Eve in Genesis 3:16, “your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you.” The root of the word desire in this passage means desire to control. We are indeed fighting an uphill battle in this area, but we have the all-powerful, all-knowing, patient love of Christ within us to release this stronghold if we surrender it to Him. Prayer is always our first line of defense.
Would you be surprised to know that most often what’s at the root of control is fear and a lack of trust in God. As Dee Brestin has said,
The root problem is a lack of trust in God to meet your needs. When something bad comes out of you, ask ‘Where am I not trusting God?’ There’s a heart idol that has a grasp here.”
Control occurs when we don’t trust God. We think we know what’s best. Pride plays into this scenario, too, of course. We are not God nor will we ever be God; only He is perfect. We need to let go of pursuing the appearance of perfection.
This leads to another root issue. We often control in areas in which we find our worth, in an activity we’re striving for perfection and identity in. This is idolatry. Let’s peel back the layers to get to the root of the lie we’re believing and address the fear or false god entrenched in our hearts.
This post covers our overarching theme of control as women, but I’ll dive deeper into some personal examples in future posts. Join me in unpacking what control has looked like for me and for you.